I am so fucking sick of mankind. Can't everyone just go and fuck themselves

Älskling

We live, we die, we get fucked.
What we do in between these days is the point of life obviously. So how do we spend our days? In an drunken haze are my best days. Dose that even matter. It sure as hell doesn't feel like it.
The other day I fell, so fucking dandy and my friends response, "well at lest you saved your fag". Fucking great I fell and saved the one thing killing me.

"- Maybe you shouldn't drink so much.
- Maybe I shouldn't breathe so much."

I see no point in living if I can't be beautiful.

The snowflakes are shaped like stars as the land on my fur jacket.
The smoke lingers from my mouth as I take the last flare of my cigarette.
The life I so wish I had is nowhere near.
The beer I wish to drink is somewhere long from my presence.
The thing I long for is just minutes away but it does not matter because it is not here.
The monsters so called my thoughts are all I have, all I wish to escape.

and large defeats

I am trying my goddamn best over here. But my best is never enough. Everything surpasses my best. Everyone. I don't need this, I can't handle this. It's killing me and eating my insides. Everywhere around me people are taking things into their own hands, taking control of their life, while I'm over here letting mine go. Letting things happen, not caring about some stupid fucking outcome because the outcome is always bad. Never as I anticipate it, so why bother?
Why fucking bother? And say that I would put some thoughts into my actions I seem to unconsciously chose the worst possible outcome just to hurt myself. My self destruction is taking over.

And I love it.

Ellen von Unwerth

I'd rather be dead then carry on

Drinking alone on a Monday. Why not? When life is peachy, embrace it! When life hands you vodka, drink it!

Fuck you, you fucking fuck.

I wanna disappear. One way trip to where ever. Leave everything and everyone behind. Take out all my money and get on the next flight to nowhere. To where everything is new and unknown. Live as a vagabond for sometime and then find a gun or some pills and everything will be alright. Because perhaps I simply cannot accept the notion of having a meaningless existence.

In Between Days

We're all just animal's stuck nowhere. Nothing has a meaning anymore, what we do, who we do it with, concludes to what? A place in an eternal heaven? What if I don't believe in heaven and this so called god?
It makes everything I do worthless or so to say meaningless. Maybe there's an different meaning to life I still not yet have found. Till' then I'll just do nothing. Sleep away my days and participate in the societies norms as to what I should do as an decent human being. I don't feel content by this conclusion. I will never feel content if this is what my life adds up to. As many people have said before me 'we're all just waiting to die' and that is my recurring phenomena. All I do is wait. My days are spent waiting for death to come. I've started to embrace the thought of a meteor falling on my room just so I could have an easy and remarkable death. People would feel sorry for me and remember all the things I failed to do.

I carry death in my left pocket. Sometimes I take it out and talk to it: “Hello, baby, how you doing? When you coming for me? I’ll be ready.”

Hypophrenia: A feeling of sadness seemingly without a cause.