Jag gillar sorgliga saker, plågsamma upplevelser, kalla mig konstig, kalla mig sadist, se om jag bryr mig liksom. Men iaf jag läste denna dikten/dagboken om nyår av en tjej på tumblr igår och den fastnade bara så jag lägger upp den här.

he held my bleeding wrists as screamed at me.
i could hear the liquor coming before his words.
“so this is what your worth!? you useless bitch!”
i hit the wall with a force that he had perfected countless times.
“this is what i have to deal with, an emo!”
this time the bottle barely missed my temple.
“is this what you want, to end your life like your mother did?”
his hand left a stain where it connected with my cheek.
“well i can see why she did if she had you as a husband.”
i pushed the words through clenched teeth, bracing myself for the kick in the-
“you piece of shit daughter! didn’t anyone ever teach you to respect your father!?”
i would have chuckled, but his boot beat me to my ribs.
i swung my leg around, my heel connecting to his temple.
picked the bloody knife off the ground.
cleaned it. wiped my wrists. bandaged them.
conjured a temporary excuse for the obligatory questions.
then glanced at the clock as it ticked to 12:00, midnight.
i heard a firecracker go off in the distance.
“Happy New Years” i muttered.
“or,” as i looked towards my unconscious father “not so happy.”